Sometime in a lost century, somewhere betwixt the fabric of time, a deal was struck between heathen Warlords, Witches, Gods and Man, in order to balance power, they chose to create a being to influence, misguide and when the time would come, be the destructor of Earth. It was agreed he would live a lonely and tortured existence, for the betterment of the universe. As the powers of these beings combined to conceive their creation, in the dark there was a spark, lightning crashed through the infinite vastness of space, a giant owl’s shadow was cast. Energy started to gather and take form, the Warlords sacrificed a virgin, splattering her blood across the heavens, peppering the black sky with energy fused gore, gore that now hangs glowing in your night sky. Between those summoning beings, a dense fog formed, within that fog a faint rumble; then crackles and snaps of living electricity danced out towards the infinity. The residual energy left the fog with a neon like glow. There in the dark their creature rose from its electric fog. His form was giant, as it rose from nothing, his chin lifted from his chest as the blood of the virgin dripped from his lips and face. His eyes glistened blue and alive like watery planets. The silence of space grew deafening. The being stood taking his first taste of the air while staring at the Men, Witches Gods and Warlords. The men ran in terror as did the Warlords at the sight of their creation. “Warlords’ should never run” the beast thought, and with actions so fast and a laser bright flash the Warlords blood drenched the beast and the heavens, creating more orbs of energy. With a healthy, guttural laugh the beast turned his eyes to the Witches and Gods and asked “why have you sprung me into this fucking existence?” The Gods coldly stared, the witches cowered . Finally, one stood and spoke, a woman, a God. She confidently stalked forward, her eyes glistened with everything the beast could desire while her voice mesmerized all that listened. The Goddess’ hand found the bloody cheek of the fiend as she continued: “We have summoned you here beast, to unleash you on this universe, to influence and change it, to terrify and charm it, it is yours and yours alone to rule. The other Gods and myself have alternate dimensions to attend to. Influence the occupants here but, before you do, listen to my father.” The Great God seated in the center slowly rose towering above them all. The creature came forward, “kneel beast” the Great God boomed, the beast kneeled. The Great God took hold of the creature’s head as he tilted a golden decanter, mindfully poured an enormous amount of hallucinogenic chemicals into the brain of the monstrosity; God-grade chemicals that would allow the creature to shift between worlds, dimensions and time itself. As the drugs took over his mind, the Great God echoed through all space and time: “You will forever be known…as Yorkatron.” As millennia slipped by he was then blessed with his own adverb that describes all the mad things in his wheelhouse, anything Yorkatron does is therefore, Yorkatronic.
Millennia later, after enduring lifetimes of torment and horrors, the beast wanders the earth, getting into adventures, slipping between dimensions, looking for his rightful place all while whoring his creative talents to the highest bidder in order to continue. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can make your project Yorkatronic.